You Know

As child abuse prevention month carries on, I find myself thinking of my role as a mother and how I can best protect my daughter from abuse. While I certainly don't have all the answers, I do truly believe that communication is a key component and maybe even the "keystone" in my defense against abuse.
We have never spoken to our daughter as though she were a baby. We didn't make it a habit of speaking baby talk to her and we have always tried to have conversations with her. Besides having good communication with her, I have always made a point of talking with her about her day. It takes me only a few moments and it occurs while she and I are in the car heading home from work and school. "How was school", "what did you learn", "who did you play with", "what was your favorite part of today", "what did you have for lunch"...little questions like this. Sometimes I get a lot out of her and sometimes I do not. I always make a point to ask the questions and also to observe her mood. I don't believe that anyone knows their child better than a mother. There is a connection there and if you just listen to your heart and your head, I truly believe you will know when you need to delve a little deeper, push a little harder and spend that extra time with your child. Fast becoming my motto is the statement "You Know". I do believe as a parent, especially as a mother, that You Know. It's your job to know; know everything about your child, start when they are young so as they get older you have already built that communication bridge. Communicate and KNOW your child. You cannot prevent the abuse of a child that is out of your reach...

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month...

It's one month focused on raising awareness of child abuse and how we as adults can prevent it. It's a difficult subject, one which no one likes to talk about, but if it is not acknowledge then it will never stop. When I look at my own daughter, now nearly 5 years old, I cannot imagine her ever having the misfortune of being touched by this terrible monster. Yet, there are so many children out there in the world who have to deal with the stress and terror of abuse every day. Children who exist in a house that is not a safe place to fall, but a place of neglect, anger, pain, contention and anxiety.
One of the first steps is becoming aware, knowing what to look for. Sometimes it isn't easy to tell, because children don't want you to know. Some signs to watch for are:

Some general signs are present in children who seem:
Nervous around adults or afraid of certain adults
Reluctant to go home (coming to school early or staying late, for example)
Very passive and withdrawn - or aggressive and disruptive
Tired a lot or complaining of nightmares or not sleeping well
Fearful and anxious.
Abused children may also show sudden changes in behavior or school performance
Some signs of physical abuse:
Unexplained burns, bruises, black eyes and other injuries
Apparent fear of a parent or caretaker
Faded bruises of healing injuries after missing school
Some signs of sexual abuse:
Difficulty walking or sitting, or other indications of injury in the genital area
Sexual knowledge or behavior beyond what is normal for the child's age
Running away from home
Some signs of emotional abuse:
Acting overly mature or immature for the child's age
Extreme changes in behavior
Delays in physical or emotional development
Attempted suicide
Lack of emotional attachment to the parent
Some signs of neglect:
Missing school a lot
Begging for or stealing money or food
Lacking needed medical or dental care
Being frequently dirty
Using alcohol or other drugs
Saying there is no one at home to take care of him or her

These signs don't prove that a child is being abused. But they could be a signal that the child and his or her family need help.

Also, know the signs of an abusive adult. Consider the possibility of abuse if a parent or caretaker:
Seems unconcerned about the child's welfare at school or at home
Denies problems at school or at home - or blames the child for them
Sees the child as worthless or as a burden
Avoids discussing the child's injuries or gives conflicting explanations for them
Abuses alcohol or other drugs
Seems isolated from other parents and school, and community activities
Uses harsh physical discipline or asks other caretakers to use it
Depends on the child for emotional support
Seems indifferent to the child
Seems secretive or tries to isolate the children from other children.
Frequently blames, belittles or insults the child

These signs don't prove that an adult is an abuser. But they could be a signal that the adult and his or her family need help.
Adapted from Prevent Child Abuse America resources
http://www.childrenmatternetwork.org/en/resources/warning_signs.htm

If I can stop the abuse or neglect of one child, in my life, then I have made a difference

"1,500 children die from abuse each year.There are 140,000 injuries to children from abuse each year. There are 1.7 million reports of child abuse each year."3"
..about 1 in 4 women in North America were molested in childhood."11
"More than 2 million cases of child abuse and neglect are reported each year in the United States. An estimated 150,000 to 200,000 new cases of sexual abuse occur each year."4
"There were an estimated 903,000 victims of maltreatment nationwide."22
"An estimated 1,100 children died of abuse and neglect, a rate of approximately 1.6 deaths per 100,000 children in the general populations."22"
...approximately 1 in 7 males will have been sexually molested before the age of 18."10

It takes a moment...it takes a heartbeat - in the blink of an eye the very fiber of a child's soul can be changed forever. Stop their monsters...make a difference in a child's life. STOP child abuse.